3 cups whole milk
1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
Mix. Simmer on Low.
Snowy white, baby cow food. So innocent. There’s no way this will turn into a ten-hour torture session…
Simmer on low for one million hours, and you should have something similar to this.
Actually, I gave up after about 4 hours and kicked up the heat to medium-high, stirring constantly for about 30 minutes to get to this point.
6 Tbsp Butter (Butter didn’t give Paula Deen diabetes!)
1 Tbsp (imitation) Vanilla Extract (or don’t.)
Yield: About one mason jar + enough for 2 coffees.
Was it worth it?
Only if you don’t have a job.
Tiny coffee maker.
2 Tbsp coffee (I used a fine grind, but you probably shouldn’t.)
Look at that damn coffee in there.
Insert tampy-thing. Twist a little, like one-turn little, or even less… Don’t over-tighten it, is what I’m trying to say. Or do. It’s YOUR coffee.
Place coffee contraption over glass with life-stealing condensed milk.
Pour boiling, lava-hot water into apparatus.
This reminds me of a Rugrats episode where the babies think adults drink mud in the morning.
Sweet, black nectar of the gods.
You can continue to add hot water if you want to weaken the coffee, but why not dump it directly in the toilet?
Mix until homogeny ensues. I like forks for their whisk-like properties.
Add ice cubes and a straw, and try to convince yourself there wasn’t anything you wanted to get done today, anyway.
A coarser grind of coffee might result in fewer specks in your final product, but if specks are good enough for fancy vanilla ice cream, then they’re good enough for me. ^_-
Dear god, why didn’t I just make orange juice?