Law of Averages

by christypaul2013

I miss sports. Not playing sports, because that’s far too time consuming. Also, I’m not a fan of breaking a sweat. Watching sports has been a beloved hobby for as long as I can remember. It was actually my first love. Before I was spending 4 hours a day navigating IMDB for every morsel of film news I could get my greedy hands on, those hours were spent watching ESPN. I appreciated how predictable most sports are. Yes, the special moments when David beats Goliath or a Hail Mary is tossed with .03 left on the clock is what we all remember, but 99% of the time the law of averages will win out. A quarterback will typically complete 65% of their passes. The best hitters on the planet only get a hit 30% of the time. If you’re staring across the tennis court at Serena/Venus Williams, you might as well pack up your racket and go home.

The same rules don’t apply to film. Unless Will Smith is front and center on the poster, there’s no guarantee the film will be a hit. Even then, there’s always an exception. Did you see 7 lbs? Of course not, nobody did. Not even Jada. (Side note: That movie may have been called 6, 7 or 8 Lbs, I can’t remember. Somebody google that for me, please.)

This goes back to my Atta-Boy post. Feel free to check our archives for that one. (Side note #2: We’ve been hella productive these past 3 weeks. Go us!) All I want is an idea generator that produces sure-fire hits! I mean an idea so good you could cast Rosie O’Donnel and Marilyn Manson as the romantic leads, and the money truck is still backing up to your door. When breaking into the film industry, you want a script that has that “new franchise” scent on it. I’ve heard it has a piney aroma, but I was told that in confidence by Michael Eisner. Don’t rat me out, I still haven’t seen Cars Land at California Adventure yet L

Again, the law of averages doesn’t apply here. For every Star Wars or Avatar, there’s a thousand John Carters wafting around the air, ruining the party for everybody. It’s always a safe bet to stay far away from period films or coming of age stories. They bore most Americans to death, and watching Keira Knightley in a corset for the 40th time has lost it’s appeal. Fun while it lasted, though. So you’d better be able to make em’ laugh or know your way around an action film.

My problem, other than getting tuna melt crumbs on the table just now, is my Rush Hour 4 idea has all the trappings of box office gold. It’s funny, I’m a huge fan of the genre and there hasn’t been a good buddy cop film in a while. On the other hand, the script I’ve been outlining and researching for a while now would probably never get made. There’s a teenage lead, the subject material could upset some, and it’s a pretty odd. That script’s sole purpose would be to drop a few jaws. If you can pull them in with a radical idea, at least you’ve got them interested. Or as Teddy Roosevelt said, “Once you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.” No fooling, Teddy really said that. I swear.

So, I’m torn. Do I go with my heart and the weird idea, or go where the money is? What will your beloved blogger choose? For that answer and a recap on how bad Christy beats me for the table crumbs, I guess you’ll have to stay tuned.

Paul is torn. Just like Natalie Imbroooglia. She was pretty. People were prettier when Clinton was in office.