I Hate Photography

by christypaul2013

I hate photography with the burning fire of a thousand STDs. Taking bad pictures is another thing I blame on my ham hands. There’s just too much hand, and too little camera to hold onto. Also, I’m not a very visual person. When it comes to screenwriting, it’s pretty simple to type what I’d like to see on-screen. However, when it comes to actually composing that image, I’m at a loss.

Christy has challenged me to a hookah duel. Was that a challenge? Was she a challenger? Was she challenging me to make a Challenger joke? Because it’s too soon and too sad, and I don’t really have a good one 😦

Her previous post was the 2013 version of pimp slapping me with a frilly, white glove. I accept, knowing full well I will lose. One day we’ll play basketball and I’ll take some pictures of that. I have a feeling any evidence of that game would be burned, or buried beneath a McDonald’s bathroom in Fresno with Jimmy Hoffa.

Without further adieu, here’s my smoke sesh:

Blowing Burgers

Blowing Burgers

Raah, Raah! Like a Dungeon Dragon

Raah, Raah! Like a Dungeon Dragon

I shall call this Santa Freud

I shall call this Santa Freud

The Glass Fogger

The Glass Fogger

Wait, where'd the handsome guy go?

Wait, where’d the handsome guy go?

The Gonzo nose.

The Gonzo nose

Damn sinuses!

Damn sinuses!

I no can blow smoke rings :(

I no can blow smoke rings 😦

It's like a Prince video in here.

It’s like a Prince video in here

Well there you have it, ladies and gents. Your heroic blogger, in the flesh. I’m scoring this rap battle 97-45 for Christy. To be fair, Christy makes for a far better photo subject than me. Even the world’s worst Apple store associate agreed that I look like Michael Shannon. If you don’t know who that is, google at your own discretion. Just remove any small children or epileptics from the room.

Oh by the way, I got an iMac! Nothing’s stopping me now, ma! Me and my apple are off to do some world shakin’.

Paul upgraded his crapple to an apple. And we saw Kirsten Dunst! My heart skipped a beat, but she refused to kiss me, no matter how long I was upside down.

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