Crapple to Apple
Oh, porn had done some damage to Paul’s computer… It was so ravaged with malware that any webpage he clicked on looked like a bad Wikipedia page. Every other word was a link to some seedy porn site or knock-off retailer. It was time for him to put old Bessie to pasture…
And upgrade to a brand new, 21″ iMac!*
*But only after several attempts to reason with Craigslist hobbits who wanted to sell their old iMacs for $200 less than they paid 4 years ago. Ooh, you paid $800 for Photoshop… It’s called bootlegging and it’s terrible, but I’m cheap and I’m only gonna be using the Adobe Suite to edit pictures of my cat falling asleep on her back, so f*ck you!
Ahem, if you’re in the market for a Mac, odds are it’s better to just go to the damn store. And as previously mentioned, we saw Kirsten Dunst while we were there. She worked with Sophia Coppola and starred in Eternal Sunshine, so… I was impressed.