What Happened to The Rock as Johnny Bravo?

by christypaul2013

the_rock_is_johnny_bravo_by_krocrasher-d940j8tI’m not sure how many people remember this, but a few years ago it was announced that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was starring in a live action Johnny Bravo movie. How in the blue hell did this NOT happen? Is The Rock too busy filming Fast and the Furious sequels? This would have been incredible!

I’m an admitted fan of anything created by Seth Mcfarlane, but there’s a place deep in my heart for the original Animation Domination block on Cartoon Network. Powerpuff Girls, Ed, Edd and Eddy, Cow and Chicken, I am Weasel, and my favorite, Johnny Bravo! All of the other cartoons were slightly too geeky for my tastes, but Johnny Bravo and his Elvis impersonations hit that comedy sweet spot. The Rock would have been PERFECT as Johnny. Yes, I realize he doesn’t have hair. News flash, Bruce Willis has been bald since he was 14, but people still let him make movies. Just shave Cameron Diaz and glue her bob to the Rock’s scalp.  Cast Kathy Bates as Momma and watch the money truck back on up.

I realize that the time has past for Johnny Bravo: The Movie. I doubt there was ever a large enough audience for this to be a feature, but it would make for one hell of a movie to air on TBS at 4pm on a Saturday afternoon. You can’t make this feature now because the late 90s were a simpler, sweeter time. Now people want their comedy edgy, and Rated R. In other words, people have gotten so stupid, they can only laugh at foul language or Will Ferrel punching a baby. (To be fair, that was hilarious. I count myself as one of the stupid, brainwashed masses. I R Baboon) Johnny Bravo could have been a return to wholesome family comedies like George of the Jungle. Brendan Fraser could’ve come out of the Witness Protection Program to play the villain.

If Cartoon Network can read this, then get Dwayne on the phone. Make it happen, Cap’n. Once that movie makes a billion, get to work on The Powerpuff Girls film and have fun dominating the world. If you smelllll-alalalow, what the Paul is cookin’!

Paul’s secret shame is that he still loves professional wrestling 😦