Watch a Movie, Pay the Price
The script I am working on is my first full-length screenplay, and today, I made the mistake of watching a successful mainstream film. I now have a terrible case of the I-SUCKS.
I know you can’t have shooting draft expectations for first drafts. I know that. But there’s a voice inside of me, and sometimes one outside of me, telling me that I need to re-invent the wheel and simultaneously, that I need to be more mainstream. It is a disaster area in my head, and I haven’t even finished a first draft. The only thing that seems to effectively calm my nerves now is to read what few pages I have of my script. Read through them, without stopping. Ahh, the characters aren’t confusingly similar. Ahh, there’s nothing that bores the daylights out of me. All right, that’s fine… I think I’m okay.
I didn’t know it before, but ^this whirling dirbish of self-doubt^ is another reason I shouldn’t watch movies. I compare myself to the writers the same way I do to airbrushed celebrimodels on the covers of Sport’s Illustrated and Glamour and Cat Fancy. The old me would have said, “Why not compare yourself to completed movies? That’s what the studios want, right?” But the old me never wrote a full-length screenplay, so I tend to question her credentials.
Maybe there are smart screenwriters out there who are not at all phased by the magnitude of the minutiae involved in writing good, big-budget films. Likewise, maybe there are men and women who can be inundated with images of young, anglo, airbrushed, made-up, well-lit, surgically-enhanced models every day and not develop a complex. I’m not sure which one I doubt more…
Was this post too much of a downer? How about this?*
*Edit: Was going to give Snoop
Dogg Lion a shout out for a “Macaulay Culkin looks like he’s been HOME ALONE for 30 years” joke, but then I saw Macaulay Culkin’s picture, and it’s too sad. You do NOT want to be the last person to make a joke about somebody before they die. It’s just not in good taste.
All righty, page count’s been okay. It’s been 9 days, and I’ve written 45 pages, more than I wrote in all of 2012, so… Awesome! And a little sad. 😦 I’m shooting for 95 pages total, so maybe I’ll be done in 9 more days. Or maybe that’s crazy.
Carry on! Carrion?
Carry on, Carrion! <– Zombie Shirt Waiting to Happen