Christy and Paul 2013

A year without internet, media and junkfood. Lord, help us.

Month: November, 2013

Tea for Mommy

Holy moly, that’s some fancy pu-er… The next step up was $800/lb, so… we got the second best.


Bama Bound

I’m headed back to Bama for a couple weeks, so expect the blog to lay fallow ’til my return, unless Paul chooses to use his free time to ramble in writing. 

God, I hate flying. 


P.S. Call of Duty: Ghosts has waaaaay better bots than Black Ops II, plus you can shoot in zero gravity, so maybe don’t expect Paul to get much blogging done.

Chodie Foster’s Christmas Tie

Because you can never see too many pictures of cats in ties, I give you some blurry pictures of Chodie Foster’s first piece of clothing.

Werkin' it.

Werkin’ it.

Headed to work.

Headed to work.

At work.

At work.

Being cute and blurry.

Being cute and blurry.

Asleep on the job.

Asleep on the job.

Good night.

Good night.

I Want to Learn the Violin, BUT I’M SCARED


Ted Brewer Opus Electric Violin

So, a few days ago, we all got to talking about what instrument we would most like to master. For Paul, it’s the mandolin. For my husband, it’s the piano. And for me, well, obviously it’s the violin. And, as with all my I-Love-Lucy-esque escapades, I feel momentarily determined to make it happen. I’ve got free time, so why not?

Lucy and Bob Hope... What a team.

Lucy and Bob Hope… What a team.

Well, for starters, I’ve never done anything that required practice, or at least I’ve never practiced anything I’ve done. I’ve never played a recreational sport. Never played an instrument. Never even practiced a normal sleep cycle. Keeping up with my Nike+ FuelPoints is the closest I’ve ever come to keeping up with a random-ass commitment I’ve made for myself.

I don’t finish things in general. I come up with harebrained schemes, chase them like a dog for a while, then forget about them. Examples:

  1. I bought a light-up keyboard so I could learn ONE song – Cannon in D. Never happened. The keyboard stayed… somewhere for about a year, then I sold it.
  2. I had an idea for a student paper wiki, and even spoke with a USC professor about the logistics before being informed that teachers would hate it. Don’t teachers run papers through some internet-cheat-scanner anyway? Oh, well.
  3. I’ve started screenplays, novels, cartoons and video games that have gone exactly nowhere. Nanowrimo? Never started.
  4. Tried standup comedy. Left standup comedy.
  5. Wrote a short film. Interviewed cast and crew. Never filmed it.
  6. Attempted to get comfortable on camera. Stopped filming myself.
  7. Wanted to do MST3K-style commentary on stuff. Didn’t.
  8. Wanted to learn linear algebra and physics. Stopped watching MIT OpenCourseware.
  9. Okay, that’s enough. This is just depressing.

I feel comfortable saying that there is no evidence to guide me to the conclusion that I would be a good candidate for teaching myself the violin and music in general. I know that I think I would be willing to put in the hours of practice, but given my track record, it is more likely to be a $700+ investment down the crapper. I don’t trust my future self at all. I know she’s wily, and she can rationalize anything away. I feel like I have no agency over her, which is sort of disturbing. What to do… What to do?

I will admit that every psychiatrist I’ve ever seen has told me that I have ADD, but I refuse to believe that a daily dose of Adderall is the antidote to anything but growing up.*

Yes, to most - if not all - of these.

Yes, to most – if not all – of these.

*I’m not a doctor or medical professional of any kind. Also, never take my word on anything.


Shopping Around the Christmas Tree

It occurred to me recently that there are people who are making a living reviewing junk food online. I guess it’s not surprising, but it does anger me, because… They have duped me. Many times.

Most recently, they (speaking generally of junk food reviewers) bamboozled me into buying a $3.50 limited edition bag of Wavy Lays drenched in chocolate. I was led to believe that these stupid chips were the pinnacle of FritoLay R&D! They were salty, but not too salty, chocolatey, but not too chocolatey, and crispy, not soggy! BULLSHIT! They were LAMESTOWN, PENNSYLVANIA!

The best thing about these chips was that they gave us something to search for. The reviews led me to believe that they would be impossible to find, so when I found a SINGLE BAG misplaced in the chip aisle, I thought I had won the chocolate lottery. Then, we found this:

Each bag contains about 20 chips, but has the density of a dying star.

Each bag contains about 20 chips, but has the density of a dying star.

The chips were bad. It was just waxy, mediocre chocolate piled on top of waaaay too little chip.

IF YOU MUST try these, I implore you to get another bag of regular Wavy Lays to stack with these monstrosities. Also, share with a friend. You have no business eating one of these bags by yourself. Give a bag to a homeless* so that they might gain the weight necessary to survive through the winter! 

*Hey, it’s a homeless person! Yeah, of course I’m talking about a person, chocolate-covered Lays would kill most homeless animals.

Speaking of animals, check out this cute shirt from Target!

Owls are in... Apparently.

Owls are in… Apparently.

It makes you laugh. ADMIT IT...

It makes you laugh. ADMIT IT…

We also strolled down to ye olde Best Buy, where the boys looked at video games, and I looked at refrigerators and such. Look at this stove top!

STARS! GAS! Why hasn't anyone else made this connection?

STARS! GAS! Why hasn’t anyone else made this connection?

Ohhh, I want a deep freezer. Chest freezer? Who knew they were called chest freezers? I’ve got your chest freezers right here! *holds out icy palms* Freezer looks weird now.


Not the best picture, but Cracker Jack is finally giving in to peer pressure and going hardcore!

At TJ Maxx, we found these:

Ahh, antiques...

Ahh, antiques…



“as if lifted from a museum.” Good, because jacked-from-a-museum is the theme I was going for. Somebody better ask whether I stole these partial bed posts from the Smithsonian, or someone is going to get a very angry letter.

Finally, this looks like cat food, but it’s actually Ikea Muesli.

This looks like cat food.

Day 12 Nike+ FuelBand SE

It’s been a long weekend. I’ve been waking up after sunset, which is always a little depressing/disorienting. My days have definitely been less active as a result.

Walk to the Mall

The only problem with the walk to the mall, other than it being 4 miles one-way, is a blind cross-walk across a freeway entrance with no stop signs or lights. See Below.

We Made it Across!


Walking Over the Freeway

Walking Over the Freeway

We had Paul meet us at the mall, and this is what I weedled him into buying:

Available at SEARS.

Available at SEARS!




After the mall, I felt like eating In-N-Out for about a second, so, of course, the guys took the opportunity to prey upon my moment of weakness.

I Think the Cashier was a Teeny Bit Annoyed by All the Special Requests

I Think the Cashier was a Teeny Bit Annoyed by All the Special Requests

We saw an Oregon Ducks fan at In-N-Out. I was wearing my Alabama sweater. We gave him the stank eye. No we didn’t. Yes, we did.

Ahh, In-N-Out, Always a Disappointment...

Ahh, In-N-Out, Always a Disappointment…

Why does In-N-Out get cold the moment the food hits the table? THEY’RE OVERRATED! NOT a reason to move to LA!

Chodie Foster’s Unwieldy Whiskers


So cute!!!

I don’t know how long normal cat whiskers are, but Chodie’s seem unnaturally long. I wonder if it’s because she’s a sheltered kitty who’s never had to worry about catching her face wires in a cow pasture fence… Well, good for her. With whiskers like that, she should be able to walk a tightrope. AND SHE WILL…


Chodie Likes to Cat-Block Any and All Technology Usage

Aww… Christmas cat on electric snow.


She’s destroyed that snow, but it’s worth it.

Day 8 Nike+ FuelBand SE

We walked to our local Vallarta tonight, got burrito stuff and a 44 oz Big Gulp O’ Horchata ($3.50!). It tastes like ice-cold eggnog and cotton candy! How have I not already tried this stuff?!

My left shin has been hurting for about three days now… I wonder if you can get shin splints from walking? I refuse to Google this.

Day 7 Nike+ FuelBand SE

I’m hitting my goals, but I’m losing Hours Won. I guess it is our natural inclination to optimize.

Not that last Wednesday was anything special...

Not that last Wednesday was anything special…

About once a month, my sleep schedule shifts little by little until I’m forced to stay up all night and all day to fix it again. I’m currently waking up at around 3:30 in the afternoon and going to sleep at around 5:00 in the morning. So… Soon.

Streak Week!!!

Streak Week!!! When you reach 7 days in a row, this guy gets his soul sucked out of his body. Something to aspire to.

I wish I had a stronger circadian rhythm. According to one study that I can’t source right now, people with weak ones are more likely to develop Alzheimer’s!