ROLL TIDE ROLL!!! (WARNING: GIFS AHEAD)

by christypaul2013

ALABAMA 38 – LSU 17

First Quarter

LSU QB Zach Mettenberger celebrates a smidge too early...

LSU QB Zach Mettenberger celebrates a smidge too early… Alabama recovers the ball.

A miscommunication results in an early snap, which bounces off Mettenberger's crotch.

A miscommunication results in an early snap. It bounces off Mettenberger’s crotch and Looney Toons ensues. Alabama recovers the ball.

HALF TIME: ALABAMA 17 – LSU 14

LSU fans are in high spirits. Mettenberger has been a third down assassin, while Alabama has been fulfilling Katherine Webb’s nightmares and letting AJ make a fool of himself on national television. The Tigers might actually win this!

Is anyone else surprised Neville Longbottom is an LSU fan?

Is anyone else surprised Neville Longbottom is an LSU fan?

Fourth Quarter

Maybe LSU’s O-Line has just given up, or maybe they have some kind of beef with their gropey-QB (is he still banned from Valdosta?), but LSU’s last drive is just SACKTASTIC.

If at first you get sacked... Oh- well, sack me once, shame on-- OHH! That bitch got sacked three times!

If at first you get sacked… Oh- well, sack me once, shame on– OHH! That bitch got sacked three times!

4th Quarter. The score is 38-17 Alabama. It’s 4th and 27 at LSU 33 with 2:00 left on the clock.

Mettenberger has just taken two savage sackings for a loss of 17 yards, and decides that enough is enough. He calls a timeout and runs off the field, ostensibly to tell Coach Miles that he doesn’t wanna.” Les Miles, being the supportive coach he is, tells Mettenberger “he believes in him,” and “he’s got this,” then sprays Mettenberger in the mouth with Gatorade and shoves him back onto the field.

This is what the last play looks like:

Funniest thing I've ever seen in college football... THIS GIF NEEDS TO BE LONGER!

Funniest thing I’ve ever seen in college football… *You might have to click for GIF*

Yes, it is hilarious, not because Mettenberger is hurt (he isn’t: no one helps him up, no med team comes out to help him, and when he finally picks himself up off the ground, he runs face-first into a large teammate who also does not help him), but because of how over-the-top pathetic Mettenberger is and is pretending to be.

all GIFs courtesy of rollbamaroll.com and SB Nation

all GIFs courtesy of rollbamaroll.com and SB Nation

I do think it is freaking weird that Les Miles didn’t just take the poor kid out of the game. Mettenberger was throwing mini-tantrums on the sidelines (and he threw his helmet and punched a locker after this spectacle), he doesn’t get paid for this, and there was nothing to gain by keeping him in the game and risking his NFL career. I’m sure some football fans think it’s heartless to laugh at the guy’s sad-sack act, but the whole damn sport of college football is, at the moment, little more than a severe exploitation of young men’s free labor and safety for profit (of which players share exactly 0%) and entertainment. So… he who hath smelt it…

LOLOLOLOL

LOLOLOLOL.

And why does everyone only make a big stink about it when a White QB gets hurt? Just saying…

POST GAME GLORY

Talk some more about Saban going to Texas...

Talk some more about Saban going to Texas… AJ McCarron and Katherine Webb have never met at the airport like this!

RTR.

Christy

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