I don’t really care for Game of Thrones. I don’t like dramas, I don’t like paying attention, and I don’t like watching dirty people. So, when Paul selfishly suggested a Game of Thrones birthday party, I told him to shove it up his butt.
Secretly, though, I started planning. I scoured the Internet for party ideas, and although I had no idea what the significance of a Ned Stark cake pop was, I knew it looked cool, so it was on the list. Dragon eggs, check. The boar that killed King Robert, check (found a place nearby that sold wild boar! I love LA.)
Meanwhile, I threw out various party ideas to Paul, lingering on them long enough to avoid suspicion, but briefly enough to assure him that whatever we did would be half-assed. I worked piecemeal on the decorations and food for a couple weeks beforehand, and while I worked, I listened to Game of Thrones in the background to try to get some context for what I was doing.
About a week before the party, I told Paul to buy a costume. I told him the theme would be the modern Golden Age of Television, and he would be someone from Game of Thrones; I would be Amy Farrah Fowler; and Trey would be someone from The Walking Dead (another show I don’t watch bc of all the dirty people).
Because Paul works nights, he comes down by bus and gets here at about 6 o’clock Saturday morning. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, I hid everything Friday night, and put a note on the refrigerator door: DO NOT OPEN! SOUFFLE INSIDE!
Later, I locked him in the cat’s crapping room for roughly an hour, under the guise of getting dinner ready.
I don’t think I’ve ever so successfully misled a person before. The look on his face, when he realized how much he’d been lied to, well, that’s the real magic… That’s what makes it all worth it. Lie to your kids, folks. -_^ They deserve it.
I informed Paul that I had seen Game of Thrones, and that I had only pretended to need an hour-long explanation of the show to better throw him off the scent. He laughed, and agreed that he had enjoyed explaining, in great detail, at my behest, who everyone was and how they were related or were not related. Okay, now I’m just lying to the poor fools who’re reading this dreck.
Anywho, Paul went all out for his Brienne of Tarth costume, so I didn’t have to bludgeon him to death with a candle. Oh, yeah, and I’m G.O.T.olerant, now.
On to the pictures!
Dothraki Stallion Heart: http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/2012/02/14/happy-valentines-day/
Stupidly long link: Not classy, Walmart. Not classy. http://www.walmart.com/ip/DreamWorks-Dragons-How-to-Train-Your-Dragon-2-Squirt-and-Float-Dragons/35432694?action=product_interest&action_type=title&placement_id=irs_top&strategy=PWVUB&visitor_id=NidNtW4iweseQHpEJX7uPU&category=&client_guid=4af70672-680e-4e62-8292-099ac8d19c1d&customer_id_enc=&config_id=2&parent_item_id=35432697&guid=dafe3111-244c-47df-8833-54a57ed75529&bucket_id=irsbucketdefault&beacon_version=1.0.0&findingMethod=p13n
Ned Stark Cake Pops: http://notyourmommascookie.com/2012/04/game-of-thrones-cake-pops/
Randomly found this blank banner at Target for $5! http://www.target.com/p/spritz-chalkboard-party-banner/-/A-14898338#prodSlot=_3_1